


anything but that

by thelesterhowells



Series: phandom bingo 2018 [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009, 2012, 2018, Established Relationship, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, No Incest, mentions of feeling insecure, people just think that they're related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 02:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16379960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelesterhowells/pseuds/thelesterhowells
Summary: Dan and Phil are not related. They are really, really not.





	anything but that

**Author's Note:**

> big thank you to the amazing [@spookyscaryskelephans](https://spookyscaryskelephans.tumblr.com/) for reading this over for me and to the fantastic [@phanbliss](http://phanbliss.tumblr.com/) for the feedback and support! <3 
> 
> hope you enjoy :)

**2009**

Phil feels on top of the world with Dan by his side. Seeing him in real life for the first time was incredibly overwhelming in all the best ways possible. When they first hugged in the middle of the train station, Phil’s brain just went blank. Having his arms around Dan’s waist and inhaling his scent was the best thing he felt in a long time. Neither of them wanted to let go, they just held each other until people started to look at them weirdly.

Kissing Dan was everything he had imagined and so much more. Kissing Dan with the bright lights of Manchester under their feet was magical.

Falling asleep right next to Dan, holding him close was even more magical. Waking up and instantly laying his eyes on a sleepy looking, puffy eyed Dan surpassed any dream he ever had about this visit.

“Good morning, you,” Dan’s voice is thick with sleep, he doesn’t even sound fully awake. Their faces are so close Phil could give him a butterfly kiss or a real kiss or just touch him if he wanted to. But he retreats into brushing Dan’s hair out of his eyes and smiling brightly when he hears a very loud tummy rumble and starts laughing.

“I guess somebody’s hungry, huh?” He asks while Dan nods, hides his face in the crook of Phil’s neck and giggles softly. The breath that brushes against Phil’s neck makes him feel way too many things for this early hour, but Phil tries to ignore it. He is hungry too and he wants to eat.

“I wanna make pancakes for you. Do you want pancakes, Dan? Let’s make pancakes. Come on.”

They head to the kitchen and realize that they don’t have enough ingredients to make pancake batter.

“I really wanted to eat pancakes, Dan,” Phil pouts, “Can we go buy some stuff? Pretty please?”

“We didn’t want to leave the house today, remember?” Dan sounds whiney, he really doesn't want to leave the house. But Phil has his ways to persuade him in the end.

-

They are standing in front of the cereals because Phil decided that, “You never ever could have _too much_ cereal, Dan.”

Their laughter echoes through the whole Tesco as they point at the cartoony animals or weird creatures on the boxes and exclaim that it’s one of them.

“Where’s your mother, boys?” An angry sounding voice brings their laughter to a halt.

They just stare at each other like two deer caught in the headlights of a car.

“Excuse me our - our what?” Phil’s the first one who collects himself. His attempts of trying not to roar with laughter are immensely obvious.

“Your mother! You two are brothers, no?” Her eyes wander around between Dan and Phil.

“Uh - no. We’re - no. We’re not brothers,” it’s Dan talking this time.  

“Well, alright then. You still need to be quiet,” she adds, turns on her heels and quickly leaves.

Phil looks at Dan. Dan looks right back. And in that moment neither of them can hold it back anymore and burst out into a laughing fit. They start talking over each other.

Parts of “Oh my god!” and “I can’t believe this just happened!” dance through the cereal aisle.

Dan bumps his shoulder into Phil’s after they calmed down a bit and are on their way to the check-out desk.

“We don’t even look that young? Why did she want to talk to _our_ mum?”

“First of all it’s not _our_ mum. It’s your mum and my mum. And, also, I don’t know. Maybe we should see it as a compliment, huh?” Phil answered still very amused by this whole situation.

“Yeah, maybe. But can you imagine though? I mean, please, don’t, but like hell no,” Dan says and it’s not very articulate but Phil gets it. Obviously, he gets it. He doesn’t even want to _imagine_ a world where Dan is his brother. He doesn’t want to picture living on a planet where he can’t cuddle and love him like he is right now. He doesn’t want to think about an universe where he can’t feel Dan’s slightly chapped and full lips on his.

So he just shakes his head and says, “No, thank you. I don’t want to think about that because I really want to kiss you when we’re home.”

Dan looks at him with raised eyebrows and a smirk plastered on his face.

“Can’t wait, bro.”

-

Dan went back to Reading a few hours ago and Phil started missing him before he even boarded the train. He asked himself if this could be a bit excessive or - well, obsessive but he dismissed that thought rather quickly.

He was distracting himself by answering questions on formspring, when his phone notified  him that he got a message from Dan.

**Dan:**

_did u rly do that? xD u rly had to answer it like this didnt u? xD lol_

There was a link attached and Phil knew without clicking on it that it was an answer he gave on formspring a few minutes ago:

 

 **In all seriousness, what is Dan to you ?** **  
** **Boyfriend,brother,bestfriend,friend ect…**

He is my son.

 

 

**2012**

They decided to do a joint liveshow today. It was not a regular thing they did, but it was obvious that the viewers liked it a lot and they were just hanging around in the lounge anyways.

Dan was feeling pretty good today. They had a pretty relaxed day, not leaving the house and ordering Domino’s trying to come up with the perfect pizza topping. And now he was sitting close to Phil while answering a few questions. It really was a perfect day.  

He started reading a question out loud without glancing at the end of the sentence to see where it was headed.

“Are you two brothers?” Dan’s eyes widened while he was trying to think of an answer. Phil’s facial expressions didn’t really change. As a matter of fact his face didn’t show any reaction at all. He was also quicker than Dan and simply said, “Yes.”

“Hm, there’d be a lot of creepy people on the internet if we were.” This felt safe. With this answer he didn’t have to adress what kind of relationship they actually had. His phrasing allowed him to still point out there was indeed _something_ weird with this assumption, but there was no reason to clarify _why_ it was weird that people thought Phil was his brother.

They moved on to a different topic quite fast and didn’t pay attention to any follow up questions regarding Dan’s answer.

-

After finishing the liveshow and closing the laptop Phil immediately turned to Dan with an amused expression on his face.

“Why did you even read that question out loud?”   

Dan put his head on Phil’s shoulder sighed heavily and said, “I didn’t read the whole question first. And maybe - maybe it’s a good thing that we said something about that...thing.” His voice sounded upset. He could hear that and he was sure that Phil noticed it too.

Phil was running his hand through Dan’s hair, trying to calm him down a bit. It was quiet for a few minutes. Dan was just enjoying getting his head stroked and thinking about the liveshow when Phil started to talk again.

“Why does this brother thing upset you so much? I mean most of the people know that we’re not related. Especially those who write fanfics or draw art.”

Dan had no idea how to respond to this because he had no idea why it was bothering him in the first place. So he just stayed silent and shrugged his shoulders.

“And - like most importantly _we_ know that we aren’t brothers. There is really no reason to be mad at that, Dan.” Phil said after a few silent moments with the softest voice. It was his “Dan is upset and I need to make sure he listens to me without getting overwhelmed” voice. Dan loved that voice. He really, really did.

“I know. I know, Phil. It’s just - I don’t know. I think I just don’t want anybody to think that we’re brothers.” He said while lifting his head from Phil’s shoulder and looking him in the eyes.

“Yeah, me neither. But why does it matter if somebody on the internet does think that? I mean those are probably people who don’t even know who we really are. They wouldn’t think that it’s weird because they very obviously don’t think we’re a couple.”

“Yes and I hate that because it makes _me_ feel weird. I don’t want them to think that because nothing that happens in our bedroom is brotherly, Phil.”

Phil tried not to laugh, he really did but he lost the fight in the end.

“I know, Dan,” he said still laughing, “and I’m really happy that it’s not brotherly in there. But who cares about some people on the internet?”

Dan didn’t answer the question but asked one himself: “Why aren’t you bothered by this?”

Phil looked at him surprised.

“Oh, I am. I mean I don’t like it either. But - I don’t know. There are not a lot of people who think that we’re somehow related and like there isn’t much we can do, right? We can tell them that we’re not brothers and that...kinda solves the whole problem, no?”

“I mean...yes. I guess so. Ugh. Whatever.”

“We don’t have to continue talking about this right now. But it’s not whatever. It’s never whatever if it upset you.”

Dan loved this man so much. He loved him always, but in situations like this he mostly wanted to cry because of this overwhelming feeling of being loved and cared for.

Phil leaned in a bit, his face was so close that Dan could feel his breath on his own face. He assumed Phil was done talking about this topic and was quite thrilled by this thought as he did not want to continue this conversation right now. A distraction would be good to clear his mind, especially a distraction that was not on brotherly side at all. A smirk formed on his lips and he closed his eyes while he also leaned in.

Right before their lips could meet Phil started to speak again.

“Maybe we’re like a dog and their owner. And we just get more and more similar the longer we live together.”

Dan was so dumbfounded that he didn’t even know what to say. His brain caught up pretty fast and he just started laughing. The smile on Phil’s face turned into a bright grin and a proud expression.

“Phil, what the hell. What kind of kink is that?” Dan said and started to lean away. Before he could get too far, Phil grabbed his arm and pulled him in his direction while laying down on the sofa, positioning Dan on top of him.

“Not a kink. Just an idea, you spoon.” Phil said and put his arms around Dan’s neck guiding his face down.

They were still grinning when their lips finally met.

  
  


**May 2018**

Having breakfast somewhere else than in the comfort of their living room was something they always needed to get used to. They had to do that fast though because this was going to be their life for the next few months. It wasn’t even that bad, but to be honest they liked it more when they could eat only with the company of each other and a tv show.

They were almost finished eating and ready to go back to their hotel room when a woman in her late 40s came up to them.

Dan looked up to her, waiting expectantly but she remained silent. After a few moments of studying them she asked, “Are you two twins?”

Dan had no idea what to say. _Twins? Really?_  Ultimately he decided to choose an answer that would shut down the conversation the quickest. He had used this method so many times by now that he knew it would work.

“Uhm, yep.” He simply said while Phil tried to remain serious and just nodded along.

“Hm, yes. Ok. Well, have a good day then.” With that the woman turned around and marched out of the hotel restaurant without looking back.

Both of them immediately burst out laughing and simultaneously tried not to attract too much attention.

“What the hell was that?” Phil asked after he calmed down enough to speak.

“I don’t know, mate. I really don’t know. We don’t even look alike? I mean before the hair change...ok yeah, maybe. But now?”

Even if they were used to questions like this by now, it didn’t change the fact that it was always pretty awkward. Dan proceeded to just say ‘yes’ over the years as that was way easier than trying to explain that they were not related _at all_. The follow up question happened to be ‘What are you then?’ way too often for their own comfort. It always put them into a particularly tricky situation of trying to examine if the person somehow knew who they were and how to respond with the safest choice in a matter of seconds.

They had so many lengthy conversation about this topic and knew that neither of them was actually bothered by those questions anymore. Mostly because they were aware that all the important people in their life knew the real nature of their relationship, the majority of their audience assumed all the right things and the people that don’t fit into one of those categories...well, it cleary wasn’t crucial what they thought.

“I honestly still can’t believe that you just say ‘yes’,” Phil said, chuckling and shaking his head.

“You know it’s the best way. Besides you never say anything,” Dan said with a ‘fight me’ expression on his face.

“Yeah, because you handle those situations better than me. And _you_ always tell me that it’s way too obvious that I try not to laugh.”

Dan chuckled at that, “That’s true. I dunno, mate, I just don’t care what they think. I just say ‘yes’ and move on. Actually I read on tumblr once that saying ‘yes’ to the ‘Are you siblings?’ question is pretty common in the queer community.”

“I mean, yeah, why not. That makes sense, I guess. It’s definitely easier than explaining that you’re not, especially if you don’t wanna talk to people. Anyways, I’m just happy that you handle those situations.”

  
  


**September 2018**

They had just a few more shows left and mostly not enough time in between to actually explore the cities. Tonight, they decided to go out and have a few drinks to celebrate this free evening. Dan was sitting right beside Phil in a little booth while their friends were sitting across the table.

“You’re going for the Pina Colada, right?” Dan mumbled and didn’t even look up from the menu.

“Of course and you’re gonna order whiskey sour, no?”

“Course.” Phil chuckled at that; some things never change. Right in that second the bartender arrived at their table ready to take their orders. He looked around and examined every single one of them, making Phil feel slightly uncomfortable. At the end his eyes landed on Phil and to his horror the bartender leaned over, completely ignoring Dan who was sitting right between him and Phil, and asked: “Excuse me, sir. How old is the boy?”

Phil’s mind went blank for a second - _the boy?_ The bartender was definitely referring to Dan as he still had his finger pointed at him.

“Oh. Uhm, well…” Phil glanced around, seeing that all the others didn’t quite know what to say either. So, he starting laughing awkwardly until Dan wriggled his hand in front of the bartender showing him his ID.

“The boy is definitely old enough to drink,” Dan said laughing wholeheartedly, showing off his beautiful dimples and proceed to list everybody’s order.

The whole interaction probably lasted for only a few seconds, but to Phil it felt like an eternity. His whole brain was overflowing with thoughts and he couldn’t really concentrate on the conversation happening between his friends and Dan.

_Did he really look that old? Could people actually mistake him for Dan’s dad? How many other people ever thought that they appeared weird together because he looked like Dan’s dad? Or how many people ruled out them being a couple after seeing them for a few seconds because they thought that Dan looked way too young?_

Phil was spiraling, the thoughts were pulling him deeper into a place he didn’t want to go right now. Luckily, he was aware that he was completely absent to his surroundings, but he also knew that not a lot of time had passed so probably nobody realized it anyway. He clenched and released his fists three times under the table and forced himself to focus on the voices around him.

The first thing he could hear clearly again was Marianne chuckling disbelievingly and saying, “You don’t even look underage, Dan. This is the second time on this tour already.”

Phil found himself gazing around again and stopping when his eyes landed on Dan’s who was smiling brightly at him.

“I think it’s your eyes. You have youthful eyes.” Somebody said and Phil realized just a tad too late that it was his own flat sounding voice saying those words. It was way too serious for this lighthearted conversation hence why everybody stared at him.

“You’re fully Benjamin Buttoning, Dan,” he added after a short period of silence. He forced himself to laugh a little at his own half-assed joke and naturally it sounded exactly like that; absolutely forced. Phil was sure that everybody noticed it, but they were kind enough not to comment on it and moved on to a different topic.

Dan mouthed an _‘are you ok?’_ to him to which he just nodded and started to actually pay attention to the conversation.

The rest of the night was fun, it really was. He tried not to dwell on it too much, in hindsight it actually wasn’t that big of a deal. They circled back to the incident in the course of the next couple of hours and this time Phil genuinely laughed about it, whipped his phone out and tweeted about it.

-

Dan and Phil left earlier than the others in order to do a liveshow today. The moment they stepped into the hotel room Phil’s mood crashed again. He couldn’t even pinpoint exactly why and he really didn’t want Dan to notice. Which was incredibly unrealistic because sometimes Dan knew him better than Phil himself.

“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you or do I have to guess?” Dan sat on the bed, looking at him expectantly.

Phil shrugs his shoulders in response, he really doesn’t want to talk about this.

“Is this about the situation at the bar?” Dan suggests, “I don’t really understand because I thought...well, I thought that whole ‘are you related thing’ didn’t bother us anymore?”

Phil just wagged his hand at that, “It’s really not important.”

“Uhm, duh it is. If it upsets you, it is important. That’s our rule, remember?”

“I hate that rule.” Phil pouted which earned him a chuckle from Dan.

“Yeah, you only hate it when it’s inconvenient for you. _But_ you have to talk to me, Phil. I sadly can’t always read your mind.”

It stayed silent between them while Phil went over to the bed, sitting down. Dan was giving Phil the time he needed, but the quiet held on for too long for Phil’s liking.

He turned around to face Dan and just blurted out the first thing that came to his head, “Do I really look like a fifty year old man?”

Dan gasped a little at that, took Phil’s hand in both of his and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Is this what was bothering you? You think you look old?”

“Well, I’m apparently not the only one, am I? The bartender _very obviously_ thought the same. He thought I was your dad, Dan. _Your dad,_ ” his inner turmoil was extremely audible in his voice.

“You were wearing a nice shirt and I was wearing a t-shirt and it was dark in there. I’m sure he just thought that our different clothes were an indication for an age difference. You don’t look like you’re fifty, Phil.” Dan’s thumb was firmly caressing over Phil’s hand; grounding him.

“I have grey hair, Dan.”

Dan chuckled at that and pushed one loosened strand of Phil’s quiff back into the position. The humidity made his quiff flat and droopy today and Phil felt even worse about it than on any other day.

“I know. And it’s hot. So very, very hot.”

“All this travelling made me into a fifty year old man, Dan,” Phil responded, ignoring what Dan was saying yet again.

“It did not. We’re both tired, isn’t that normal? We haven’t slept since like April. We’re allowed to feel and look like shit sometimes, don’t ya think?”

“So you think I look like shit?” Phil pouted and he was aware that he was being unfair, because that was not what Dan meant and he knew that.

Dan rolled his eyes at him; he just knew him too well.

“You know that’s not what I mean. You know that I know that you’re not Edward Cullen, right? Like, you know that I’m aware that you’re not immortal?”

“What?”

A chuckle. Again. Phil loved that sound so much.

“When we started dating I was aware that you would get older. The same way I got older. I mean do I look like I did back in 2009?” He didn’t wait for an answer and just continued. “I sure hope that I don’t. I’m not _just_ here because I think you’re the hottest lad out there. I do think that, don’t get me wrong. But I’m here because I love you. A grey hair, eye bags or a strange bartender can’t change that.”

Phil closed his eyes and could feel Dan’s hand stroking his cheek reassuringly. Talking about feelings sucked. Not because he was talking to Dan just because it sucked, in general. He got better at it over the years, but sometimes he still needed to force himself to admit to certain feelings and open up to Dan. Sometimes it still was hard.

He took his time, took a few breaks and thought exactly about what he wanted to say.

“It just - it sucked. I didn’t like the... the feeling I had after he said that. It made me feel - I don’t know, bad, I guess. I mean, I know that you don’t - I know that it isn’t what you think or anything but... it still sucked. It made me feel...insecure. And the thing is I was not insecure about our relationship...it was just about me. And I didn’t like it.”

“I’m glad that you feel secure in our relationship,” Dan said slowly. Phil could sense that he was leaning in so he opened his eyes again. “But I’m not so glad that you don’t feel secure in yourself.”

He looked Phil in eyes asking for permission and getting a nod in response.

“I think,” a kiss on his forehead, “that you look,” a kiss on his nose, “absolutely,” a kiss on his right cheek, “fantastic,” a kiss on his left cheek, “every single fucking day,” a kiss on his chin.

He leaned back just a tad bit, “Even if you have bags under eyes, even if you wear those hideous emoji pajama pants, even if you have grey hair. Especially, if you have grey hair. It looks fucking hot.”

Phil chuckled, right before Dan’s lips finally connected with his.

**Author's Note:**

> [come and say hi and maybe reblog on tumblr](https://thelesterhowells.tumblr.com/post/179326415722/anything-but-that) :)


End file.
